I have a coworker who was very happy and excited yesterday morning, because she learned she was able to get a used car she wants. Within the hour, she commented that her happy excitement was giving her a headache! I later quipped to my beau that it was likely because the emotion was so foreign to her.
I know my coworker has some self-esteem and confidence issues. These manifest themselves in a need to be the center of attention, drama queen behavior, uncouth remarks and behavior, and almost constant complaining. And lucky me, I sit in the cubicle right next to her!
She complains about being in a cubicle, being bored, not having any leave time, hating her job. And she frequently comments that we work in a "toxic environment."
I say the toxic environment is between her ears.
For one example, when this coworker is complaining about the cubicle, she is sitting in the only cubicle in our office that has a window.
And we have another coworker who, due to space limitations, doesn't even have a cubicle or workstation, just a terribly inconvenient small desk at which to work.
This coworker can be so obnoxious that we're often relieved when she takes some time off. I, in the smallest cubicle; especially relish the quiet and fewer distractions.
And at times, we look forward to the day this coworker leaves to take another job.
But I know that she even if she find the job of her dreams, she won't be happy there either, because she'll be taking her "toxic environment" with her.
And she's not the only one.
My coworker is just a more extreme example of behavior I've noticed in so many people around me.
Have we become a nation of gripers and whiners?
We complain about not having enough money, not having the latest tech gadget, not being able to lose weight, not this, not that, not..., and not being able to do anything about it.
And you know what? As long as you stew in your sea of "nots", you can't do anything about it!
If you believe you can't then you can't. Part of achieving is believing.
And if all you notice are the "nots" in your life, you will never be happy. Because your attitude affects your latitude.
Happiness doesn't just happen when you wander into the ultimate circumstances.
Happiness is a process. Happiness is something you earn. Happiness is something you make happen.
You can begin by taking an inventory of the good things in your life. For instance, the above coworker could be thankful for the window, her new vehicle, and her doting boyfriend.
Make it a habit, say once or twice a day, to list at least three good things in your life. Gratitude is the seed of happiness.
The above exercise is addictive, and soon you'll likely find plenty to smile about.
Then many of your "nots" won't seem so important. And you'll be ready to go for the "nots" that are important, and find ways to turn them into "haves."
It won't always be easy, but it's certainly worth the effort.
I'm happier just thinking about it.
No, I'm off to count some blessings of my own: this beautiful spring day, baseball, my great job, my car, my beau....
(Image by M.C. Escher--see www.mcescher.com today's green button link.)
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